When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize