Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
