I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize