The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
