I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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