So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
