There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
