finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
