If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
