plz talk dirty to me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
