tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
