Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
