guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
