SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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