Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
