He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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