May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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