There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
