Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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