All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize