I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
