Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
