i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
