Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
