I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize