Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
