Who did Billy Mays play for?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
