Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
