I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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