I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize