Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
two words...techno handjob
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
