Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
