Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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