Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
