lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
