I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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