I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We have so much sex to catch up on
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
