I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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