So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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