I feel like I'm in dance class right now
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
