He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
