Screwed.edu
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Vodka?
Forever.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
