If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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