I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm at about main and main street
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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