I'd wear matching sweaters with you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
