So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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