I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
