Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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