She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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