i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Randomize
