They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize