Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My ass is underappreciated
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
