his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
