im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
