Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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