i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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