I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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