i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
