Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
