It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
