Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
