I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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