I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
