i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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