some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
